Living Is This Moment

We are so busy with doing whatever we do on a day-to-day basis that we ignore what we are experiencing. Our thinking has become so much a habit that we do not pause to look at what is happening to us in any moment.

We worry about what might happen in the future or we fret about what we did yesterday, not stopping to think about what we are doing today will make us fret tomorrow or cause us to worry later on. We do not stop to remind ourselves about what is giving us joy in this moment.

Stopping every time something happened would not be very productive and would likely drive us crazy.

But at least once in the day, at work or at play, whenever you interacting with others, stop for a moment and think about these questions. Catch yourself doing something that you enjoy every bit as often as you catch yourself doing something less enjoyable.

What just happened?

Sometimes we just read the events incorrectly. I was recently asked , "Someone smiled at me when they stood beside me at a urinal. What was that all about?"

Many men are uncomfortable with other men standing close to them in washrooms. There is little privacy and that makes them self-conscious.

This is an example of allowing what you are feeling in the moment to color your thinking. Your automatic response to your habit of feeling shy, that others may be watching your every move, is influencing how you think.

There are many reasons why another person might smile at you. He may just be friendly. He may be gay and flirting with you. He may be shy too, but want to lighten up the situation. He may just be curious about you.

What was I thinking?

We need to be cautious about reading other peoples minds. We can't and they can't. We imagine what others are thinking and that often depends on how we are feeling at the moment.

We judge others it is from our own experience, thinking, feelings, attitudes and beliefs. We can we never be sure that our thinking isn't colored by how we feel at the moment.

Everyone else has their own beliefs, attitudes and thinking habits to make their own way through life. No matter how many rules you set for someone, you cannot control how they think. The only person you can control is yourself.

Language is also important. Stop and think about the words you use. Constantly swearing is not a productive use of language. How much respect do you show to yourself and others if you are constantly angry or speaking from exasperation?

How did I feel?

Feelings have both mental and a physical parts. You feel because it affects your body in some way. That is why they are called feelings. So become aware of the tensions across your shoulder or tightness in your abdomen.

Try to name what you are feeling. Why? Because then you can apply a plan of action to overcome bad feelings, or make a mental note of good feelings. Good feelings are important to remember when you are not feeling so good. I call this writing a history of good feelings.

What did I do?

When someone smiles at you do you smile back? When you see someone do you smile first?

When someone speaks sharply to you do you speak the same way to them?

If someone comes into the bathroom while you are there, do you immediately leave or find an enclosure to get away from them?

How you behaved is very much about how you were feeling and thinking before something happened. It all depends on your thinking habits. If you tend think with confidence about yourself, then you will do things that show you are.

If you think that everyone is out to get you then you will act in exactly that way. If you think that you can hide your feelings then you will appear cold and secretive.

There is a rule in understanding communications. Even if you do or say nothing, you can not not communicate.

Summing Up

Life gives us many experiences on our journey. We need to be aware of what is happening to us in the moment.

We need to ask ourselves these questions:

What just happened?
What was I thinking?
How did I feel?
What did I do about it?

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The author has many years experience, writing and reading for self development.

Copyright Gilles Hamann 2007
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